Life, I’m told, is all about balance.

Which makes sense to me because I’m usually happiest with a chip on both shoulders and a drink in each hand. Outside of those parameters, I’m what you might call a faller; on or in, it matters not. I wobble, my feet jellying about, and I splash.

That all said, I’ve watched the serene paddle boarders for a while; bronzed, athletic and somehow at peace with the world on their unhurried quest to nowhere in particular, framed by the magisterial beauty of the blended-forever sky and sea. Here, I think to myself, is enlightenment: body automatically poised on the gentle, lapping waves, mind floating and sighing with unformed, fuggy-joy thoughts.

It looks cool.

And so here I am at Westin in the company of Adam Phillips of Red Sail Sports. He’s a water sports and paddle boarding instructor of some repute and he sets about talking me through some of the history of the sport.

“It originated in Hawaii, where there is big wave surfing and has got really popular in the last couple of years. Loads of people have taken it up because it is such a versatile sport; you can do long distance paddles, go to the pub, then there’s wave surfing, races and everything else,” he said.

 

Ocean Therapy 

Phillips learnt paddle boarding three years ago from his boss who is basically the guy responsible for bringing the sport to the UK. I feel immediately reassured and know I’m learning with the best.

“If I’m just going out for a cruise I find it really relaxing. It’s not too strenuous but it is really good for your core muscles and overall fitness. You’re not coming back sweating like most sports and you’re out there walking on water. It’s ocean therapy.”

Before we head into the water, Phillips says that having a decent board is essential and checking out that the surroundings are safe, plus a little instruction so you know what you’re doing.

“After that it’s about getting out on the water and having fun,” he noted, aptly.

On that note we mosey on down to the beach and check out the techniques needed.

“Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and keep your knees bent; keep your eyes on the horizon and you’ll be great,” advises Adam. So I do, and soon I’m stood up manfully, hair flowing in the cool breezes and paddle in hand. I’m basically a mini-Hoff. This is easy, I think to myself.

Although to be fair we’re still on the sand so it’s quite hard to fall off.

“When you’re learning you want it to be as calm as possible on the water,” my instructor notes. “Then depending if you go down a long distance route, you’d want it to be flat but of course you want some waves for wave surfing.”

And, thankfully, it’s flat and beautiful. Enough dallying around, it’s time to put my land-based instruction into practice. We paddle out and I manage to successfully lie on the board. That’s step one mastered.

Step two is kneeling, which after some wobblations I manage.

 

Tricky next step 

The next technique proves a tad trickier; I plant my feet in the very useful footstep-shaped areas, bend my knees, lean on my fists and begin to stand up.

And then I am thankful that the Caribbean sea is so warm and welcoming; refreshing, almost. I climb back on the board again and try once more.

“Push your shoulders back,” Phillips advises. I do. And I fall in again, to the opposite side this time.

But I’m having a whale of a time with all this. Which is lucky, because I’m the same shape round the middle. It’s excellent exercise, particularly for the core; standing up may look easy (and is, for people who aren’t me), but it’s actually a technique that needs a little respect. I try and fix my gaze on the horizon as instructed and manage to stand up - briefly - before getting cocky and trying to paddle far too fast.

Splash.

Still, this really is tremendous fun and as long as you have a basic level of fitness you can try it - and I do have a very basic level of fitness. With the patient and good-natured instructor by my side I feel ready and able to keep trying (if only my legs were as supportive).

When I started the lesson, I could barely drag myself on to the paddle board and by the end of it I’m happily paddling away - on my knees rather than standing up, admittedly, but I’m confident that with a little practice even I can get up and keep up for at least a few minutes.

In this mode, we paddle back to shore, passing some tourists on the way.

“How’s he doing?” they ask, having seen us practicing on the shore earlier.

“He was wobbly at the start - but now is doing very well for a beginner,” I tell them.

A laugh is essential for a balanced life, so I’m told.

Then I fall in the water again.

I am thankful that the Caribbean sea is so warm and welcoming.

To see the accompanying video, please click here.