There are some fundamental truths in life: there is no point fretting about the past because you can not change it; worrying about the future is equally fruitless because it has not arrived; live each moment as your last because being here now is the only constant; and you cannot love anyone else if you do not love yourself.

Most of us can acknowledge these things to be true. However, putting them into practise is a different matter. In the ‘80s it seemed that everyone was in “therapy” and in some ways the word almost became devalued. But psychotherapy, where a relationship is built up between a client and a trained therapist using different, therapeutic techniques can be of great help for those who find it difficult to achieve their potential and lead fulfilling lives for various reasons or need help through difficult phases of their life .

Richard Singer, a  psychotherapist and author, recently joined the staff at the Da Vinci Centre. Singer’s background equips him well for his role as psychotherapist. A recovering alcoholic, his epiphany came over 11 years ago when he awoke to a dark dawn of the soul after yet another binge and realised his life was totally out of control.

“I was beat up, jobless, penniless, and I had just called my mother for help and she said she wanted nothing to do with me. This was her way of helping me to realise I needed help desperately,” he said. “My heart sunk and I contemplated suicide once again. At this point I had two options available to me: surrender to this disease --  as was being suggested by the treatment professionals -- and begin recovery, or end my life.”

He chose recovery and it was the beginning of a personal journey of discovery that would lead him to study clinical psychology and to work with people in the field of addictions, he then moved onto psychotherapy.

Since then his goal has been to help other people live a better and fuller life through. Meeting and talking to him, it is easy to see how clients would trust him. He has the gentleness that certain, big men have, and he encourages you to be completely honest both with him and ultimately, with yourself. I have never been shy of a bit of amateur psychoanalysis, but what struck me about my talk with Rick was that though I knew these things intellectually, he subtly managed to get under that and hit emotions that I thought were well buried.

Singer says that there are many definitions of psychotherapy, but that for him it is somewhat simple. “To me, it’s a human relationship between two beings working toward personal growth goals. You build a strong relationship built on trust and then take it from there.”

However, like any relationship between two people it can get complex, and for Singer as the therapist there are criteria that need to be established to make the relationship a success. To start, it has to be based on honesty and requires commitment and dedication between both individuals.

Asking Singer why therapy is different from just talking over your problems with  a friend over a bottle of wine, he replies, “There is a big difference. I am not going to judge and I am not going to be biased.” He also points out a major difference between talking to him and talking with a friend: “I have knowledge of the psychotherapy process”.

Singer’s approach to psychotherapy is humanistic -- he does not set himself up to be superior in any way or some sort of “perfect” human being.

“My whole approach to life is down to earth. There’s probably not any right answers and every human being is confused about life.” He sees the therapeutic journey as one of growth between two human beings and that life itself is a journey of continuous growth. Again, these thoughts are wonderfully inspiring but how can psychotherapy help one achieve this?

Singer uses various techniques, which he will decide on as he moves through a relationship with a client, depending on their particular issues: for instance, cognitive behaviour therapy, which is about changing your inner thoughts since they can affect your behaviour. We think something irrational, then it affects our emotions and our behaviour. The key is to change how you think, and then change emotions and behaviour.

He believes profoundly is that we all need to live in the moment, as no-one is promised tomorrow. To live in the now is not an easy practise, but Singer suggests using the five senses to help keep you in the present. Touching things or smelling them or listening more attentively will bring you back to the here and now. His philosophy is also spiritual -- we allow our ego into the driving seat too often and the “dominant ego incessantly tries to persuade us that life needs to be complex.”